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07:33pm 20/03/2005
  im sick and tired of being confused. fuck this shit. fuck guys. fuck sex. fuck romance. fuck john.  
04:14pm 10/03/2005
  Lindsay 1 is a sped. Dave and his duck lips are freaking me out....ok no more making out  
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hungry howies   
04:11pm 05/03/2005
mood: amused
last night was the shat! we did absolutley nothing. i got a phone call, which makes me very confused. we dyed lindsay's hair. amber was flirting with a little boy who has a small penis. and we ate coney, and made a pickle penis, which our waitress saw and liked (lol).

i just got done eating hungry howies pizza which i had delivered because i am lazy. i finally added lindsay as my friend on this thing, shes all excited that she has one and that kristi helped her.

i cant wait to throw a party for dave, hes gotta be so excited.
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05:09pm 20/02/2005
  ever have that feeling when you know something is wrong with you, like you feel all depressed and you just can't figure out what is wrong or there are just so many things that are wrong that its extremely overwhelming? it seems like my mom has figured out the rest of my life for me, where im going to college, when i will move out, how much money i am gunna spend, etc. probably because she fucked up her life and didn't go to college and shit or maybe because she couldn't control my brothers' futures because they have both gone to hell. she seems to think that if i stay home and we all work togeteher as a family we can get through it all and we can all have real successful lives. im sorry but what the fuck is she talking about???? what fucking family? scott is an asshole who wastes the families money with absolutley no remorse, niel works and goes to school (by the way scott does neither of those), he always brags about how much money he has, which by the way is only like 1,000 dollars because he keeps spending his money on, alcohol, italian sunglasses, and a brown suade jacket, oh and theres definitely more. My dad is a schizophrenic asshole who has randon anger fits and who is parnoid about everything, you seriously have to watch what you say around him or he will ask what did you mean by that?, like you meant it in a bad way. My mom is a stingy bitch, she is always complaining and crying about how we dont have a lot of money, which we dont, yet she doesnt have a job and she doesnt plan to get one in the near future, and with my dad being the way he is he isnt exactly racking in the dough. she is always telling us to save our money adn work hard and go to school, which i find myself to be doing, i am the most responsible out of all of them. I know i am not perfect, trust me i have many flaws (well...only a few), i go shopping like once a month, but only at marshalls and tj maxx, im not exactly splurging, i work my ass off, but for what?? so my parents can tell me that they are proud of me?? after all of these years they finally say that, they never said when i was younger i was always living in the shadow of the greatest baseball players in grosse pointe, never did i get recognition. i finally got what i wanted, recognition from my parents, and my brothers, my brothers even though they are mean about it i can tell that they notice what i have accomplished. all of this doesn't matter to me anymore, i wanted it for so long and on some level i still want it, but most of all, now all i want is to get out and away from this place i have come to call hell.  
04:24pm 06/02/2005
  ever been so depressed that you start thinking that everything that was so important to you before doesn't seem remotely important anymore?  
08:22pm 28/01/2005
mood: crazy
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10:10pm 24/01/2005
mood: sad
I just confronted my brother about the shit he has been pulling lately. It started when my other brother came home and was bragging about how much money he had made. then scott chimed in about something he does that is all great. So me feeling all pissed off, thinking why the fuck do they think they are so special?, said that im smarter and shit like that. together they started putting me down, saying that they could of done better if they tried. all they have ever done is put me down, telling me that i wasnt as good as them. later i exploded telling scott how he ruined my life. saying that he wasted a whole lot of the families money, that my mom was going to help me finance a car but now she can't and i have to do it all by myself. when my brothers were in highschool they each had a car, they each had help from my mom, this is what im left with. i dont get much help with financing anything, and i dont get any room for mistakes, my brothers made many but im not allowed any im suppposed to learn from theirs and be all perfect. how am i supposed to do that if i "will never be as good as them". I told scott about the plans for us moving into our own place at the end of summer, he was telling me that it will be so hard and that i won't be able to do it. but seriously, what other options am i fucking left with?? i need to leave here, the sooner the better.
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01:32pm 22/01/2005
mood: nauseated
omg....yea...i have definitely consumed enough alcohol for a lifetime
07:27pm 20/01/2005
mood: calm
that women is looking through my shit again. im tired of this bullshit
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12:01am 18/01/2005
mood: nauseated
Fuck guys! the next one to talk to me will get his throat slit....or maybe im exaggerating, but it will get vicious
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11:33pm 13/01/2005
mood: content
yea.....this is kinda lame....no offense to someone who would take offense to that...but....yea....no more journal for me
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10:03pm 13/01/2005
mood: flirty
I'm in fucking college!!!
Hump Day!   
03:52pm 12/01/2005
mood: horny
Today is hump day! just that makes me excited
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09:03pm 11/01/2005
mood: depressed
What am i supposed to do? i am the only one expected to have a future, they push for it. i never get anything in return. my brothers are allowed to screw up and waste money. i'm gunna fucking flip out, i need to get the hell out of here.
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05:26pm 10/01/2005
mood: enraged
I absolutely hate my brother scott, not only is he a fucking asshole who tries to beat up dave, but he fucking hurts his knee and now my mom has to waste like 2500 bucks on him and shit. he has to drop out of school now because he cant play baseball for the rest of the season. Basically my chances of getting a fucking god damn car in the near future is zilch. He's walking around here like hes Mr. bigshot and we should all cater to his needs. Then instead of staying the fuck off of his knee, which you would think would be the logical thing to do after they just fucking took 5 viles of fluid out of there, hes off hanging out with his friends wasting more fucking money. He heard me complaining and he said that i should get a job, when he has no job, and he is in debt for a couple thousand to my parents. I have two god damn fucking jobs and still im fucking treated like fucking shit. but right now i feel bad because i just like typed fuck like as many times as i wrote like, which means im a white trash valley girl. looks like im fucking screwed. I want to get the fuck out of here and separate my life from these bitches...whose with me??????
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Linz to school   
11:05pm 09/01/2005
mood: chipper
David and I took Linz back to school tonight. Me, being the super sweet person that I am, fixed her sims game and her printer. My mom the snoop does not like my bitchy comments that I make to her, she has empty nest syndrome, well thats my theory. I was sick today at work and i called linz and dave for meds and they had no car so ryan came to the rescue with medicine and saved my life, he's my hero. All in all today was a super sweet day.
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10:27pm 06/01/2005
mood: sick
um...im sick and i may have of taken too much ibuprofin (i may have spelled that wrong) i'm sure i'll be fine. But the best part is my friends are sick too, so now we can all share the misery.
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